New Perspective

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them.
Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it.
And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.
James 4:1-3

When I read this verse, it struck me hard, so hard like a brick falling on my head. I can really relate to this passage, but I will try to relate it to you as well. You see....

I'm sure we all have gotten into an argument before, whether it be with a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or just friends in general. I know I sure have. And it may not even be a full blown out argument. Maybe it just was a disagreement on an issue or you decided to go separate ways by (you name it), break up or even worse divorce.  Your best friend decides that he or she has better things to do than to spend time with you.Your boyfriend or girlfriend brakes up with you after you ruined the relationship. Your spouse tells you that he or she is no longer in love with you after all the years that you have been together.

And now, you are alone. "You want what you don't have."

You see people all around you with their best friends or significant others and it seems that their lives are just about perfect. It seems everywhere you  turn there is someone doing the things that you want to do. You are jealous, you don't say the word "jealous", but you know that deep in your breaking heart that you would do anything to get your life back.

In James, it says that "you want what you don't have because you don't ask God for it." So all of your problems are solved now, you say? Just ask God and he will give me my desires? Sounds pretty simple.

The very next sentence says, "And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong... you only want what will give you pleasure." And then it hit me. Why am I praying for something that will only give me pleasure? Even something as simple as, "God, restore this relationship." seems an innocent request.

But what I began to realize is, what if it is not God's will for restoration? What if I am praying against God's will? Am I really praying for pleasure, wanting things on my own terms? I had been living a life of discontentment, and I didn't even know it.

"Lack of contentment is the result of a terrible burden of wanting life on your own terms." 

So I began to pray for only God's will and God's will only. And I prayed with a heavy heart and an open mind to know that even if God's will was something that I didn't want, it would still be what I would accept in faith. To know that His way is the best and that His plans are far greater than mine. I have found that God is what I must put my absolute, fervent trust in and that I can find my security in Him.