I have grown a lot since freshman year. You can't really tell on the outside, but on the inside I have grown incredibly. I have become the woman that I have only dreamed of being and never thought I could be. I used to be afraid of going into a room all by myself or speak in front of my class or even speak to people who weren't necessarily my friends. I was known as the quiet girl. Even though I hated my reputation, it was rightly so. I was one of the quietest people you would ever meet. I wanted to change, I wanted to change so very badly. I hated my current state. I remember those nights I had of despair.The nights that I prayed with all of my heart, to be different. I know probably at the beginning of my journey, I thought it was impossible to change, I really did. I couldn't see myself any other way. I was stuck in this reputation, that no matter what I did people would always see me as the shy girl.
There were countless times when I heard that people didn't want to be my friend or didn't like me because I was too quiet. People would always say I was too quiet. I was frustrated because I didn't know how to change. Many times people would ask, "Why are you so quiet?". I hated that question. I honesty was as stumped as they were. I didn't know. All I knew is that was how God made me. And I wish He had made me some other way. I wanted to be the girl that everybody said "hi" to. The girl that all the guys liked. I wanted to make people laugh and have many friends. I didn't understand why this world only accepted a certain group of people. People who were loud and talkative were good. And people who were quiet and shy were bad. I couldn't see myself any other way.
But -- I had faith... And with that faith, I prayed. I prayed ever so passionately. Because I knew that all things are possible with God. By the time my 8th grade year, I slowly started to blossom. Each year, I grew. Grew in my faith and maturity. And I began to change.
I started to see myself do things that I probably could never do in the past. Whether it be to say a speech in front of people without notes, sing solos in front of hundreds, walk in to a room all by myself, or make friends with people that I had never talked to before. You see, you may not see the change on the outside, but on the inside, I am a whole new person. I find myself the person that everybody says hi to in the hallway. Things can only go up from here. I have been faced with many challenges. But each has gotten me closer to God. He is my Rock and my Salvation. Whom shall I fear? I will never doubt. And I will continue my journey with Him, side by side, step by step. And I will press on. Press on to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -- Amen*