Saturday, April 17, 2010
Here I am sitting on the front porch. I just finished my hair. I'm wearing shorts and flip-flops. The fresh breaze blows comfortably past me-- making me smell the famous chicken at the corner store. As this Owl City song is ending on my i-pod, I start to think. Think about my future. Think about where I am now. Think about my past.
How can I make a difference in this world? How will I be remembered? What will I do to BE remembered? Thirty years from now -- how many regrets will I make? Will my life be WORTH living? How can I change me to make a better tomorrow? Will I really be a famous fashion photographer or will photography just end up being a hobby? How will even this summer be better than the last? There are so many questions going through my mind.
I wish I could have an actual chat with God... We might meet at Starbucks by the warm fireplace and sip hot chocolate (not coffee)... I have so many questions. I want to know why He made me.. made me in THIS family, under THESE circumstances. Why me Lord? What is my purpose in life. I know I'm nothing special.
But then again-- neither was Moses.. Now that I think about it ... Moses and I have a lot in common. Both grew up outside of our culture, both anything but eloquent when it comes to speaking.. but God used Moses regardless of his insecurities. And years, thousands of years from now people, like me, are still talking about this MAN OF GOD.
I want to be used by God. Moses' passion was shepherding and God used his staff in mighty ways. My passion is photography, maybe God will use my camera in powerful ways. -- this is my prayer *
I can't back down. I can't give up. I can't lose hope. I can't give up on God because He has not given up on me. He died for me. So that I may live this life abundantly.